An Interview with Karen Everett by Karen MacKay

Polyamory is the practice of having more than one intimate relationship at a time and literally means “many loves”. To me it was a term that people used to rationalize having sex with many partners – at least until I saw Karen Everett’s film Women in Love. Now I see the broader sense of the word and how polyamory can be a strategy for maintaining long-term relationships. The film Women in Love is an intimate portrayal of Karen Everett’s life, her experiences with polyamory, and the strain that bucking the monogamous mindset can put on romantic relationships and friendships.

Women in Love chronicles two years of Karen’s life and her relationships within that time. The premise was that she was forty, had been in love six times and wondered how love lasted. The film attempted to answer that question, but in doing so it explored the complexities of relationships with both lovers and friends. Karen shot more than 200 hours and also used home movies she had shot in the 1990’s, at the height of the lesbian sexual revolution in San Francisco. All that filming put a strain on Karen’s relationships, but when I asked her if she would have changed anything, she said that she wouldn’t. The characters in the film were aware of the need for the camera and Karen is glad that she pushed for the camera to be on as it became a catalyst for conversation.

Karen told me that she has a ‘gene for self-disclosure’ and this is apparent in the film as no subject seems too private to discuss. It delves into jealousy, fear and envy and takes an honest approach to dealing with the issues. I asked Karen if she still struggles with jealousy in a polyamorous relationship and she told me that she has found a community for support and learned to communicate effectively so the struggle now is balancing time between lovers. Her ability to expose herself gives you a first hand perspective of the emotions involved in poly relationships from the point of view of insiders and outsiders.

I asked Karen what she would like for people to get from the film and she said that she hopes that they will learn the importance of communication. She also wanted to give straight people a glance into a world that they may not know – that lesbians are not all man-haters in monogamous relationships. My response to her is that it may be a world that even queer people may not have glanced into. I know that it has helped me to break some of the assumptions that I had about polyamory and the people that practice it.

Women in Love is showing at Tinseltown on August 20 at 5:00pm. Karen and her two lovers will be in attendance. This is a film you must see!